The worst part about getting dumped is that feeling you get before you get dumped. That sick, empty feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know that this is probably the last day that the two of you will be together. No more calling her "hon". No more cuddling. No more...anything. Its all going to be over, and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it.
I've been getting a wierd vibe from Erin for the past few days now. Ever since she got back from her spring break trip - which was with her exboyfriend - she's been distant. Wierd. Downright aloof. And acting a lot like she doesn't want to see me right now. I understand that she's been tired, that she's had a crappy weekend since Northwest lost her luggage and her parents were up visiting and they were cleaning the house like mad, trying to sell it.
But...still. There's something definitely not quite right here, a twinge in my bones...something definitely tells me that our time is up, and I have her exboyfriend to thank for it. It sucks. I really do like her. I've really enjoyed being with her. And I certainly don't want it to end.
Its like seeing something coming at you, a large evil object, and finding yourself rooted in place. You can't dodge. You can't do a god damned thing about it. You can only take it in the face and hope that you have some teeth left over.
I was thinking about going out in style. You know - the things you wish you did when you got fucked over. Give her two dollars and tell her that she was the best whore I've had in awhile, but that should cover her expenses. Give her the finger and tell her to give that to her exboyfriend from me. Laugh in her face and tell her that fucking her was fun, but she wasn't that good at it - masturbation is a more attractive option anyways.
But none of that is true, and as much as I sometimes wish I was that kind of person, I'm not. Because if she does break up with me, as I'm pretty sure she's going to, it is going to suck. I knew that this relationship wasn't going to last forever, I knew that in a few months we were both going to be leaving Tech and that that would be it, but I still did not want it to end on a sour, shitty, fucked up note.
But there's not a whole lot I can do about it.
Miss Any?
Alright, we're gonna give this a shot
January 02, 2005
Let's see how badly I failed these last year
December 31, 2004
Okay, so its trendy
December 28, 2004
Its just like that asshole, Joe fucking Lieberman. Annoying and rather pointless.
December 27, 2004
Is this a typical Christmas?
December 26, 2004