Okay, so last night as Erin and I go to bed, we begin to talk. And I ask the question - are you going to break up with me? Mostly because, of course, she's been acting shady recently. Hell, even earlier that night there was shadiness. It's nuts. I wish it was like when we first started dating, when she laughed a lot and we held each other not because we felt like we had to but because we wanted to.

She answered that she was thinking about it. I asked her why. Her reasoning, according to her anyways, was that she wanted to test to see if we could be friends. She knew that we were both graduating from Tech in two months, and that we would be going in two different directions - and she certainly didn't want a long distance relationship.

No shit. I certainly don't want anything long distance either - but I also don't want the good times to end yet. I mean really - lets think about this for a second. If we both know that we aren't going to last forever, than why not enjoy the times until we can't anymore? Why go through the shit of a breakup before its mutual? Why not wait until its mutual, part ways, stay friends, and call it a fuckin year?

That was my answer in a nutshell. She seemed surprised by it. Apparently she thought I would want to try some long distance shit. My answer: Fuck No. Those words - exactly.

She laughed at that for a long time, which was nice to hear.

What bothers me is that she's already acting odd again - I would have though that we had resolved when we're breaking up, but who fucking knows. I may just dump HER ass early so I can stop fucking worrying about it nonfucking stop. Its driving me nuts.

Of course, that would suck too. I'd at least like to get laid one more time, and I really do like sleeping next to her, cuddling with her, and honestly - just spending time with her. I like calling her "hon". And honestly - I also know that if it ended now, I wouldn't see her very often. Maybe not so much because I wouldn't want to, or maybe even not because she wouldn't want to - it just wouldn't happen. I think everyone knows what I mean by that.

Gah.

Drama drama drama.

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Miss Any?

Alright, we're gonna give this a shot
January 02, 2005

Let's see how badly I failed these last year
December 31, 2004

Okay, so its trendy
December 28, 2004

Its just like that asshole, Joe fucking Lieberman. Annoying and rather pointless.
December 27, 2004

Is this a typical Christmas?
December 26, 2004