On a funnier note, MSN has this thing where people can enter their ideas into some competition. Public opinion picks a few winners, and they get some money to try out their ideas.
The problem? PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DUMB. FUCKING. DUMB.
A few choice cuts:
"My idea is a basic one. All of you out there who use metronomes for practicing music and such know that it can be a pain to get up and turn the met on/off, switch the tempo, etc. Especially if you are running a rehearsal of some kind and need to comment on or change something and you have to completely stop and walk over to the met and change it. With my idea, the "metromote", you would have a remote (just like with a CD player or TV) that would free you to adjust the metronome to your needs without the hassle of walking across the room, or putting down your instrument every time."
Okay...guess what. If you're using a remote, you're using what again? Your fingers. The same fucking thing you'd be doing if you were changing the speed on the metronome, which are, by the way, about the size of a playing card. Holy fucking shit.
"Seeing a growing trend of "Make me over" shows, I am learning that girls need a little more help with their sense of style. My idea is to have a makeup line (such as Cover Girl) create a line called "Bombshell" which will come in a shell like carrier (disposable) that would have all the accessories needed for a night out Girls have problems matching up eye liner with eye shadow along with lip liner and lipstick, and not to forget the blush, without contrasting so much as to look like a clown It would have all the makeup listed above (eye liner, eye shadow, blush, lip liner, and lip stick) that would all correspond perfectly. And possibly even have "helpful hints" card on stylish ways to apply makeup. This idea is very simple and would be very useful. Just by looking through the stores array of colors for everything, it's easy to see how it takes a few times going back to the store to get the right match. This idea is very easy, and is very practical."
Here's what we need: more useless shit for people to blow their money on. Like the makeup industry isn't already glutted, you'd like to throw YOUR fat ass into the fray. Guess what: its called a purse, and women stick enough shit in it already to make up themselves, their friends, and a circus-full of clowns. Anyone who would buy "bombshell" makeup does, anyways. Those who wouldn't aren't quite that retarded.
"It is simple. A jukebox that instead of using CD's, the jukebox would use high speed internet connection that would connect to a mainframe computer that would have every song ever released. You could seach that song by noame or by the artest. The jukebox would also have hard drives that could store to top 1000 requested songs for faster play."
Okay, good idea....but bad timing. Unfortunately for you and everyother music lover out there, the RIAA won't ever let loose its claws from the pocketbooks of teenagers everywhere. Try again in 20 years when those fuckers are dead and buried.
Also: wireless speeds are traditionally not fast enough to handle constant streaming downloads. See Byzantine faults, distributed algorithms, and general routing problems for further details.
"This is for all those mechanics that have ever had that troublsom nut or screw that u could only reach with one finger. My idea is to create a one size fits all tip that would slip on any of your fingers that would have a magnet in it. This would enable you to put your bolt, nut, ect. on the tip of your finger and get into that tight spot that other wise would be unreachable. We have all tried ideas like grease on a screw dirver tip or the perfect timed drop of the nut or bolt that u try to time just right that u can line it up perfect and move on with your repair. This idea would allow u to but that pesky fastner on the very tip of your finger and get it into position with no mess or hundreds of atempts. thanks for your time
kevin"
Kevin: magnet on the tip of your finger? Are you sure you aren't intending to do something with that that isn't a little more, well, homoerotic? Were you losing your nuts / bolts someplace before? When you went to the hospital, did you have to explain why the hamster was sent in after the bolts and nuts? I pray for the hamsters. Really, I do.
Also, the use of the letter 'u' in place of 'you' is forbidden. FBI teams will be at your house shortly to kill you. Thanks for your time Kevin!
"Have you ever planned to invite all of your 21yr old and over friends to your house and have a keg or two chilled and ready to drink but only to find out that it has been accidently shaken up and is all foam? I have the perfect solution. The Defoamer. The Defoamer would be a product that anyone can apply to their carbonated beverage to have it remove all of the foam and still keep the same great taste of whatever it is the consumer is drinking. I would use the money to develop a non-toxic, no tase solution that will defoam any carbonated beverage. Once that is done, the next step would be to apply the solution to the many different types of applications. The Defoamer would come in an easy to use spray, swivel sticks, droplets and even as an adaptor for a keg tap. I've even come up with the idea of making disposable cups with the solution made into the cups. This product could be marketed in different ways. It could be targeted at beer drinkers or soda drinkers. Two different markets, two different names but the same good product. The product would suit the needs of a very diverse world market and with your help, can be extremely profitable."
Okay fuckstick, I've got a dozen chemical engineers who are really pist off with you. Apparently, you think you can solve all of tthe world's problems with a magic pill / spray / whothefuckknows...and without learning chemistry. If you want to repressurize a liquid, i.e. "defoam" it...you have to put it under pressure. Since CO2 can only be placed into a liquid via pressure, I don't think your magic spray of goodness is gonna cut it. Seriously. Take a class or three before you post shit like this, or at least stay in high school long enough to reach the point in chemistry class where you touch on Acids versus Bases.
Holy. Fucking. Jeezus.
[EDIT]: On a side note, I fact checked myself on the last rant. Technically, you can carbonate with lower pressure, but the liquid has to be at a much lower temperature. Since CO2 in a liquid / solid state would be insanely cold (and dangerous!) it could, insanely enough, work (and I say this with a huge conditional IF) IF and ONLY IF a) you could somehow control liquid / solid CO2 safely (your average frat guy can't, so thats out) and b) if the temperature differential isn't too great so that the heat transfer from the liquid to the CO2 is sufficient enough to cool the liquid to a point where the dissolving CO2 will carbonate the liquid (see Henry's, Le Chatelier's, and the law of Thermodynamics). All of that being said, the guy is still a fucking moron, and high school chemistry (or just opening a pop bottle and letting it sit there for awhile) should tell you that this idea is worth as much as the shit that comes out George Bush's ass.
[EDIT (again)] - Actually, the guy is still really fucking wrong. This website: All you ever wanted to know about carbonation pretty much explains that to carbonate a beverage, the CO2 / liquid have to be within certain temperature ranges. I didn't bother reading enough of it, but I could guess that my crazy ass, half-assed explanation of his shitty idea wouldn't work without your typical jumbo CO2-tank setup. Pills and sprays be damned.
Miss Any?
Alright, we're gonna give this a shot
January 02, 2005
Let's see how badly I failed these last year
December 31, 2004
Okay, so its trendy
December 28, 2004
Its just like that asshole, Joe fucking Lieberman. Annoying and rather pointless.
December 27, 2004
Is this a typical Christmas?
December 26, 2004