Recently, I've noticed there is a growing trend amongst the trendy to pretend that they are nerds. Its hip, apparently, to be uncool. To those of us who truly are uncool, its kind of an affront on our given territory. In other words - posers.
So, in order to weed you all out, I present the unbiased, totally fair and nonarbitrary, completely accurate Nerd Test. This test will cover several "core" nerd areas that are necessary for you to call yourself a nerd.
Leave your answers in the guestbook everyone's amusement - those who actually read this. If you don't know the answer to a question but can answer a question that is similar, i.e. you don't know who Spiderman's first enemy was but you do know who Superman's was, we'll count that.
Comics, cartoons, superheros, and various costumed ribaldry:
1. Who was Spiderman's first nemesis (for clarification, Spiderman #1, not the first appearance of Spiderman)?
2. Who was fought in Marvel comic's The Secret Wars, and what were the 3 primary sides?
3. How many Robin's have their been?
4. Who killed Vegeta's father?
5. How many fused Super-Saiyin are there?
6. What online "movement" (we'll call it that) featured the phrase "For Great Justice?"
7. What does Hesh want?
8. Name three of the incarnations of Jean Gray.
9. What is the name of Petty and Selma's pet?
10. What appliance is known as "Fruit Fucker", and in what infamous online comic?
11. What are the three members of the AquaTeen Hunger Force (its almost too trendy, but it has to be on here)?
Flying spaceships and their ilk:
1. List these three in order of size, from smallest to largest: Babylon 5, Super Star Destroyer, the original Enterprise, the Enterprise D.
2. In "The Undiscovered Country", what line does Kirk ask "god"?
3. What does the term "AT-AT" stand for?
4. Who "Stands between the light and the darkness?"
5. Who was the first goa'uld known by humans?
6. What is the name for humans from Earth that the goa'uld use?
7. In what Star Trek movie is the line "Time is the fire in which we burn" from?
Gaming, gaming, and more gaming:
1. First, and most importantly: what is THAC0?
2. If I have a +6 keen shortsword of flame, what is the overall enhancement bonus as seen from a merchant?
3. With a CHA bonus of 32, what is my actual bonus to any rolls?
4. In Diablo, how do you activate the portal to the secret cow level?
5. What is the first MMORPG?
6. What was the name of the medievel FPS series made off of the original Quake engine?
7. What is the cheat code in Doom for God mode?
8. What is the fundamental difference between White Wolf's D10 system and Wizard's of the Coast D20 system - besides dice sizes?
9. In Magic, name any three of the necessary cards to execute the original first turn killer combination.
10. What kind of party do gamers have?
11. What does MUD stand for?
Stuff for the technophiliacs:
1. Name all computer-related based representations in decimal of the following digits: "10"
2. If I see DEAD people, how many people do I see?
3. What does "RTFM" stand for?
4. Who created Linux?
5. What Boolean operation is used in many encryption schemes?
6. What was the first widely used (and by widely, I don't mean it had a GUI and every fucker on the internet COULD use it) method for downloading files?
7. What is the primary difference between UDP and TCP/IP?
8. Name any three websites that are widely used by technophiliacs for either a) useful information or b) forum discussion.
Scoring:
<= 50%: don't call yourself a nerd, don't wear the "I Love Nerds" T-shirt, and rest assured that while you may be gettin more sex than the rest of us, you sure as hell are cooler as well. Take that.
50% < i <= 70%: Congrats, you're a dork. You may even be a d0rk. You aren't going to attend any Star Trek conventions or gencons, but you have probably been mocked a few times in your life. Go you!
70% <= i < 90%: Welcome to our world. You're the kind of person that noticed that there weren't any questions dealing with The Matrix, or Hackers, or any of that other poser shit. You're the kind of person that knew I should have asked a question about Akira, and scoffed at the tricky Diablo question. You're a nerd, and you're proud.
> 90%: Well, you're probably nerdier than me. That says something. A lot actually, and it makes me kinda scared. Seriously.
Really.
Frightened.
That was entertaining.
Miss Any?
Alright, we're gonna give this a shot
January 02, 2005
Let's see how badly I failed these last year
December 31, 2004
Okay, so its trendy
December 28, 2004
Its just like that asshole, Joe fucking Lieberman. Annoying and rather pointless.
December 27, 2004
Is this a typical Christmas?
December 26, 2004